


What Was (Zutara Week 2020 Collection)

by FantasyfanXD



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Zutara, Zutara Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25702558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyfanXD/pseuds/FantasyfanXD
Summary: Reunion, Counterpart, Fuse, Celestial, Hesitancy, Affirm, Rebirth.A selection of short stories inspired by the Zutara Week 2020 themes.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Kudos: 14





	1. Reunion

Iknik Blackstone Varrick of the Southern Water Tribe was a bold man. A man of his accomplishments had a lot of clout, but even so it would have been unheard of for a merchant of common birth to casually invite a Fire Lord to his wedding, even if the Fire Lord had abdicated the throne. And he was a Water Tribe merchant at that.

But the times had changed. Lord Zuko had worked hard to bring about those changes in his youth. Worked to found a city with a new style of government, free from ancient dynasties and the borders of the four nations.

So, almost on a whim, former Fire Lord Zuko attended the ceremony. He was not the only royalty in attendance he saw. He saw King Wu, the young monarch of the Earth Kingdom, an... eccentric boy. The young Avatar Korra was also present. As he scanned the sea of seats looking for his own place his eyes landed on another figure of renown. 

Now she was a respected elder of the Southern Water Tribe, but when they had first met she had been the daughter of the Cheif. Little better than a peasant in his eyes back then, when he was young and foolish. Unlearning that pride had been a difficult labor, but truly worth it, and now he would never make that mistake. Even advanced in age she sat straight and dignified, a serene look on her face. Her blue eyes were still bright and clear even as they looked out from a face lined with wrinkles. Her hair had turned silver with the years but it was still thick and had been deftly braided for the occasion. To Zuko she was still a beauty to behold, bring back sweet and bitter memories of what was and dreams of what could have been.

“Katara!” he called out to her. His lips almost tingled at once familiar name that they had not said in far too long.

“Zuko!” she called back warmly, turning to him with a smile creasing her wrinkled cheeks. It was only when Zuko heard his name on her lips that he realized how much he had missed her voice. How good it felt to hear her say his name.

He sat in the empty seat beside her.

“Is that your seat?” she asked him in a sly tone, smirking as she gave him a sidelong look.

“Isn't it?” he asked in faux surprise. “Well, I'm old and my legs are sooo tired,” he rubbed his leg as if to emphasize the point. “One chair is as good as another. I think I'll just sit here and catch up with an old friend.” Zuko shared a mischievous smile with Katara.


	2. Counterpart

Republic City had been developing well, or as well as it could. After two years of development it had become a respectable sized city. The Fire Nation was an industrial powerhouse, and with that power turned to the old Cranefish Town it had managed to lay down the foundations of a modern city, which had been renamed Republic City.

For the last three months Fire Lord Zuko had lived in the city full time, overseeing the efforts to relocate Fire Nation citizens within the city. Most came from the colonies, but there were also some bold people from the mainland drawn to the unique new sights of a city founded by the Avatar and the Fire Lord.

Earth King Kuei had also spent several months in the burgeoning metropolis undertaking his own efforts to encourage Earth Kingdom citizens to join the melting pot. There were issues with the arrangement. The peoples of the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom were both proud with distinct rich cultures, and the war was not so distant as to have been forgotten. Early Aang, as the Avatar, had been around to encourage and keep the peace. But he belonged to the world, and was a born nomad as well. Urgent business in Omashu had called him away for some time and now the weight was on Zuko's shoulders. But he had worked long and hard for their shared goal, a cultural center where all the worlds people could live together.

Now the next step was imminent. The first group of Water Tribe citizens were due to arrive. Another proud culture sore from war come to join in the international endeavor. The new people would bring new conflicts, but they would also bring with them Chief Hakoda. Having another ruler committing to the coming together of cultures and share in the struggle would be a great help.

Zuko was on the docks that overlooked Yue Bay, dressed in royal robes of red and gold and ornamental armor of his station. He stood at attention with a small group of retainers comprised of a mix of Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom guards and ambassadors. The guards were a formality Zuko was confident he wouldn't need, and having representatives of both nations was to show that this was a cooperative venture, not just another Fire Nation colony.

In the distance he saw the blue and white sails of the Water Tribe vessels. Once he would have dismissed the wood and leather ships as primitive. Now he appreciated the beauty of their graceful curved lines, and though they would never outrun a Fire Nation ship in a straight line between their skilled sailors and water benders they were unbelievably nimble. The three long ships arrived with the high tide. Zuko stood waiting for Chief Hakoda to disembark. Zuko was mentally rehearsing the bow he had planned for the occasion. It was important to show humility and greet the new citizens with honor, but at the same time the bow couldn't be overly submissive or shame his people. It was a delicate balance that needed to be struck and a mistake could escalate the tensions within the city. 

“Zuko!” a familiar voice called out, that one word chasing away all political considerations and wasting more than an hour of practice bowing.

“Katara!” Zuko called back with a smile as the lithe girl herself appeared dressed in blue and grey dyed leathers, leaping down from the boat and throwing her arms around the young Fire Lord. He returned the tight hug beaming before recalling where he was and what he was doing.

He took a respectful step back and coughed awkwardly before casting his eyes around looking for Chief Hakoda. He saw three score men and women of the Water Tribe, some of whom scowled seeing a man of the Fire Nation being so familiar with the chiefs daughter, but Hakoda was not among them. Most others seemed more amused by the display of affection that had left Zuko's own retinue shifting uncertainly, but Hakoda wasn't amongst them either.

“Where's Chief Hakoda?” Zuko asked trying to retake a diplomatic stance.

“Dad couldn't come,” Katara said apologetically. “There's been so much to do rebuilding the Southern Water Tribe recently. He felt it was his duty to stay with his people during this important time.”

Zuko felt a pang of indignation. Of course he understood Hakoda's position, it was the very same reason Zuko had spent so much time in Republic City when he could have been with Mai in his home at the Fire Nation Capitol. Still he would have appreciated a message to warn him about the sudden change of plan.

“Then who's here to oversee the settling of the Water Tribe citizens?” Zuko asked.

“I am of course.” Katara said putting her hands on her hips in a show of annoyance.

“You? Are you sure about this?” Zuko asked. The words came out more surprised than he'd intended and only as he heard them did realize how insulting they must sound.

“Of course I'm sure! What, you don't think I can handle it?” she asked scoffing. Zuko saw the Water Tribesmen on their ship looking insulted and getting antsy. His own guard had taken note of the rising tension. Zuko needed to correct his mistake and diffuse the tension.

“Of course you can handle it. Your people couldn't ask for a stronger or more compassionate leader in this time of change.” Zuko answered, finally remembering to bow. Katara looked surprised by the sudden formal compliment. A hint of a smile and blush touched her cheeks as she crossed her arms over her chest and stood proud and tall. “I only worried you'd be upset by the sudden imposition,” Zuko finished.

“I chose to come Zuko. I wanted to be here for this,” she said. The Water Tribe relaxed when they saw Katara's indignation ease.

As the Water Tribe families made their way down from the boats Zuko made a motion signaling a number of covered carts pulled by komodo rhinos. Some of the younger children were awed and delighted seeing the new creatures. The men were more leery having made themselves familiar with the animals during the war. The first order of business would be a tour of the city for the new arrivals. To that end each cart had a guide from the Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation guides having been avoided in an effort to avoid unnecessary tension.

A royal palanquin was brought for Zuko, borne by eight men of shocking strength it was an ornate thing covered by a crimson silk canopy, the seat and bow supported by red painted wood pillars accented with gold leaf. It was expected for the Fire Lord, though if he were honest it made him uncomfortable. They may be expected for one of his status now, but he had been banished from that status once and chose to walk away from it once after that. Many days he still felt undeserving of a place of honor.

“So where will I be riding?” Katara asked watching as her people were guided to various carts.

“Well as a representative of Hakoda and leader of the Water Tribe within the city you'll be treated with the utmost respect. As such your place is within the royal palanquin,” Zuko answered.

“Oh,” said Katara flatly, not sure how to feel about such an ostentatious mode of transport.

Before long the two of them were seated side by side under the silk canopy and the convoy was on it's way.

Katara peeked out from between the curtains, eyeing the city as they passed. “Wow, the city has really grown. Aang talks about it all the time but it's been so long since I saw it for myself,” she said.

Zuko looked at the city over her shoulder. The docks had expanded with warehouses, and beyond them monuments and statues had risen as symbols of unity, several large government buildings had also been constructed, as well as several high rise buildings of a completely new architectural style and the foundations of many more were already being laid down. An island out in the bay had even been selected to represent the Air Nomads, though Aang's current absence from the city had halted its development for now. The city really had come a long way.

“You should be proud,” Katara said.

“Maybe, but there's still so much left to do. Honestly I mostly just feel tired,” he hadn't said it aloud before but it was true. “Every day bring some new issue, some new conflict appears. Messages need to be sent between Ba Sing Se, Omashu, and Capitol City in the Fire Nation. The disparate rules and laws of the nations need to be examined, reformed, and incorporated, new laws need to be written to fill in the gaps. Now we'll need to open new correspondence with the Water Tribes north and south. More laws to incorporate, new traditions to learn and respect without disrespecting the already established traditions of-” A hand on Zuko's shoulder grabbed Zuko's attention, ending his sudden exhausted rant. 

He turned to look at Katara, and turned away feeling embarrassed. He was glad for the curtain's blocking people view of him. He felt a tear in his good eye. Alone with Katara his filter had dropped away. He hadn't meant to drop it but it had just happened of its own accord. Month's of fear and frustration had just come pouring out uncontrollably. It was unbecoming of a Nation's leader.

“Zuko,” she said in a strong clear voice, “we can do this.”

He couldn't help but smile seeing at her determined look. He felt better already just having her here. For a moment he realized how close together they were within the palanquin and felt a flush of warmth in his cheeks. He sat back and sought a topic to distract himself from the realization.

“We is right,” he said. “With you taking Hakoda's place you'll be representing the whole of the Water Tribe to the other nations. Over the next few month's you'll learn exactly what King Kuei and I have had to deal with. We'll be working together closely and you'll have to learn exactly what it's like to try and lead a nation.”

As he spoke he watched the weight of the responsibility hit her, and saw the moment of realization on her face. He knew that feeling well. Now it was Zuko's turn to place a reassuring hand on Katara's shoulder.

“Hey, we can do this.” he said. “When I said the Water Tribe couldn't have a stronger more compassionate leader through this I wasn't just being diplomatic. I meant every word, and I am so grateful that I have you here with me.”

He watched as a hint of pink crept up into her cheeks. He realized what he was saying, and how it sounded.

“I'm glad to be here,” Katara said turning away to hide her blush.

In the short time she had been here Zuko had already felt a weight lift from his shoulders. All the pressure and stress of his labors had, however briefly, been washed away by Katara's calming presence.

“All this work will be worth it in the end,” Zuko said, as much to himself as to Katara. Perhaps for the first time in a long time he really believed it to.


	3. Fuse

Zuko had been cramped in his families house on Ember Island for far too long. Surrounded by memories of the past both happy and bitter had made the looming shadows of the future seem all too dark recently. He needed to get away, if only for a little while, so he could breath easy. That was why when Katara said she was heading to the market, despite the risk, he decided to grab his hooded cloak and accompany her.

Now he stood in front of a small stall in the seaside market holding a bundle of fresh leeks while Katara was purchasing colorful fish from a talkative merchant. He gritted his teeth while the man complimented Katara's hair. He had to keep his distance so no one saw his scar and recognized him, but hanging back while Katara was happily chatting away left him feeling abandoned and forgotten. He heaved an annoyed sigh, though mostly he was annoyed at himself knowing how stupid he was being.

Zuko closed his eyes and took a deep breath, savoring the scent of the salty sea air. On his ship during his banishment the scent of the sea had always been smothered beneath the smell of burning coal and rusting steel. Here the air was clear and there was a cooling breeze.

He turned his gaze back to Katara. He watched as her clear blue eyes scanned the goods at the stall. Her found himself admiring her deft delicate hands as she filled her shopping basket. When he caught himself admiring her smooth dark skin where it peeked from beneath the red silk of her fire nation garments he blushed. He realized his heart had started to race. He averted his eyes as he pulled his hood down further. Careful to keep his scarred face in shadow he stepped away, chiding himself for letting his mind wander and hoping he could calm himself.

“...areful what you say,” he heard someone say in a nervous hiss of a whisper. Zuko, almost on instinct, slipped into the shadow between two huts built close to each other. He turned his ear to the hushed voice. “An insult to the Royal Family can earn you a charge of treason,” the nervous man continued.

Zuko glanced around the edge of the building trying to catch a glimpse of the people speaking. The mention of the “Royal Family” had caught Zuko's attention.

“It's not treason to call out treason,” said a man in a voice far louder and less nervous than the first, “and that Prince was a traitor, no two ways about it.” 

Zuko realized they were almost certainly talking about him. His body tensed at the realization.

“The Ember Island players even went so far as to write about it in their play!” the thought of that play made Zuko's stomach turn. He finally spotted the two gossips, two old men with skin tanned by a life working under the sun seated on the nearby pier fishing. The loud one had a pot belly sticking out from a faded vest, the other was taller and leaner with a scruffy beard run through with gray. 

“First he was a stuck up brat who didn't know when to hold his tongue,” the louder man began, “and then when he couldn't cut it on his own he lied to the Fire Lord, his own father, about stopping the Avatar to try and get back to a life he didn't deserve.”

“I know that,” the taller man agreed nervously.

Zuko did not agree. He had never lied to his father, Azula had done that. But no one would believe it,   
Azula was perfect in everyone's eyes. He gritted his teeth, he needed to let it go and walk away before his fuse ran out and did something stupid.

“Now they say he's thrown in with the Avatar! The very enemy it was his duty to stop, can you believe it? Turning his back on his own people to help someone who want's to bring down our whole nation,” the gossip ranted.

“Wasn't the Avatar supposed to work for all the nations?” the nervous man lamented.

He is working for all the nations! Zuko wanted to shout. He knew these two had never seen the world beyond this island, but listening to them criticizing a situation they didn't know anything about was still infuriating.

“Maybe once upon a time the Avatar worked for everyone, but now he's become a terror to the Fire Nation. Tearing up Fire Nation colonies across the world, ambushing loyal Fire Nation soldiers, they say he even summoned some spirit monster to smash a fleet of ships at the South Pole,” the loud man ranted.

It was the Nouth Pole, Zuko thought. Zuko had been there for that. The spirit had been a terrifying sight at the time. But the Fire Nation had been invading the South Pole. They had slaughtered a spirit in the attempt. Zuko shuddered to think of what could have been if Aang hadn't been able to push them back. The thought of what his nation had attempted to do filled Zuko with shame.

“That's terrifying,” the tall man replied, “I'd hate to think what'd happen if he showed up here.”

Zuko felt his temper flaring, burning away at his patience. Aang had been on the island for more than a week, his arrival had been so destructive that no one had even noticed. Some menace.

“Some say he even broke out old Iroh the Dragon of the West turned traitor. Explains where he learned his traitorous ways,” the loud man continued.

The words hurt like a knife. Zuko had come too late to help Uncle Iroh who had needed to free himself. Zuko should have been there to help. No, he should have never let them take Iroh at all. He hadn't been able to apologize for everything he'd done wrong. Iroh had been the only family who'd always been there for him. He had been a great man. Now he was being insulted by two men who'd never met him, who couldn't know how kind and wise he was. Zuko clenched his fists tight.

“A young shamed Prince tutored in treason by an old shamed Prince trying to destroy his own nation. What a disgrace,” the loud man said, spitting to punctuate his point.

Zuko had reached the end of his fuse, all his patience exhausted. He hadn't turned his back on his nation, he wanted to save it. To turn it back from the path it had taken before it made a mistake for which there was no atonement. 

For a moment he recalled his father's plans for Sozin's Comet. A vision of a Phoenix King crowned in flames swam before his eyes, terrifyingly real.

He moved, ready to leap from the shadows and explode at these two old men who had insulted his friends and family while shaming him for the only right thing he'd ever managed to do in his life.

His effort to blow his cover and expose himself was halted by two cool hands grasping him from behind.

He looked over his shoulder to see who had grabbed him. “Katara?” he said in surprise.

“Don't do it. They don't know what they're talking about,” she said, a note of strain in her voice.

“I know, that's the whole problem!” Zuko said, his voice full of frustration.

“Zuko,” she said with authority in her voice, “I know how much it hurts when people judge you before they know anything about you. I hate hearing them talk about us like that, I hate hearing them talk about you like that. I hate it at least as much as you do I promise.” The frustration in her voice told Zuko she was telling the truth. “But I know you better than they do. I know how far you've come and how much you've given up to do the right thing. So forget them, forget what ever they have to say. Just focus on me. You are a good person. You've proven yourself to me, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone else.”

All of Zuko's anger and frustration was gone. Katara had snuffed out his fuse with a wave of sympathy and at the last moment had kept him from exploding. She had saved him from himself.

He turned suddenly throwing his arms around her and pulling her into a tight embrace. She tensed in surprise, but quickly relaxed into him wrapping her arms around his waist.

Soon they would have to let go. Katara would pick up the shopping basket and bundle of leeks where they had dropped them and they would begin down the overgrown path towards his family's old beach house.

But for now they stood in silent understanding in their own private world found in the shade between two old wooden fish huts by the sea.


	4. Celestial

Her heart beat just a bit faster and her blood flowed stronger.

The full moon was high in the sky she knew. She had always felt it this way. Pulling at her just the way it pulled at the sea, raising her blood just as it raised the tide. As a waterbender it compelled her. Even in the Western Air Temple tucked into it's secret spot in a ravine with the whole of a mountain between her and the moon its pull couldn't be ignored.

Her bending bota sloshed full of water as she grabbed it and started towards the temple's courtyard to train. She needed to tire herself and work this sensation out of her system if she wanted to get any sleep tonight.

Her hair was still wild, she only meant to run through a few quick forms and get to bed so she opted not to waste time pulling her comb through her long thick hair. Her hastily pulled on boots hardly made a sound as she moved over the temple's smooth polished floors.

Soon she emerged into the cool night air. The temple courtyard almost shone, the light of the full moon hung suspended in a thick mist that had filled the canyon after sunset. Against the pale light Katara saw a shadowed figure. His broad shoulders and mop of long hair was unmistakable. Zuko. Her whole body tensed seeing him, her hand went to the bota at her side defensively. He hadn't been part of the Gaang long and Katara still hadn't adjusted to his presence. Aang had been willing to extend his trust to Zuko, he needed a firebending master. Her brother Sokka had also warmed up to him especially after he had helped to rescue their father. Katara owed him a debt for that she supposed, but it still hadn't washed away the wrong he'd done her. The betrayal in the crystal caverns under Ba Sing Se. It still hurt to remember.

Zuko hadn't noticed her arrival. He just stood at the edge of the courtyard above the sheer drop into the canyon. Katara watched him suspiciously as he moved through a slow deliberate kata. He moved his right hand down the length of his left arm, across his stomach, and extended his right arm out. Then he mirrored the movements. At no point through the kata did Katara see even a spark.

“That's got to be the worst firebending I've ever seen, even for you,” Katara said, taking no efforts to hide the edge in her voice.

“Katara,” Zuko yelped in surprise as turned to see her. “I... that is... uh...” he stammered uncertainly.

Katara simply raised an eyebrow as she glared at him. She waited for him to spit out whatever it as he was trying to say, or better yet give up and stop talking.

“I wasn't really fire bending,” he finally managed.

“Trying to take up earthbending?” she snarked.

“What? No!” he said starting to sound annoyed. “It's a technique Uncle taught me. It's about... the flow of energy.” He explained, looking away sheepishly.

Katara looked at him skeptically. She knew all about the flow of energy in the body. Manipulating the intricate path ways of energy was the key to healing through waterbending, it was a special art of the Water Tribe she had learned at the North Pole. She found it hard to believe an entitled Fire Nation prince would know anything about it, never mind possessing the ability to manipulate it's flow.

“It's true,” he said in answer to the unspoken doubts that were so clear on her face.

“Show me then,” she said.

“What?” he said confused.

“Take your shirt off and show me,” she reiterated.

“Take my... WHAT!?” he choked out, sounding even more confused and surprised. His face threatened to turn as red as his shirt.

Katara blushed when she realized how what she'd said must have sounded. “Don't get any weird ideas!” she said almost shouting, “I just want want to check if you're really changing the flow of energy.”

“You can do that?” he asked.

“Of course I can. I'm a waterbending master, I can feel the flow of energy through water. Now show me,” she said her voice dripping with impatience.

After a moments hesitation Zuko complied, untying his obi and letting his top most layers fall away. She let her eyes drift over his pale skin, his muscled stood out sharply under the skin. He was incredibly lean. She felt a pang of worry and wondered if he was eating enough. But then she shook her concerns away. This was Zuko, let him worry about himself.

Katara pulled enough water from her bota to cover her hand and placed it against his bare back. He jerked at the sudden cold but soon relaxed under her touch. Through her palm she felt the flowing rivers of energy pulsing just beneath his skin.

“Ok, you can start now,” she said.

Zuko took a deep breath before he began. Then he began his kata. He breathed in as he pulled is right hand down his left arm, held the breath as he crossed his stomach, and released the breath as he pushed his arm out. Then he mirrored the motions with his left hand. Katara was surprised to find he had been correct. The natural flow of energy was interrupted through out the move, in its place a strong new flow was established from fingertip to fingertip moving through his stomach.

“I don't believe it,” Katara said.

“I told you,” Zuko said, smiling in vindication.

“Why are you out here practicing something like this?” Katara asked, genuinely curious about this odd new technique, so similar to waterbending.

“I don't really know,” he began, “just, when I was laying in bed I felt my energy flowing through me, stronger than normal. I figured I should practice this while I could feel it so clearly.”

“It's the moon,” she explained, instantly understanding.

“What do you mean?” Zuko asked.

“The moon is full tonight, I can feel it. The moon bends the energy within us, the same way it bends the water of the ocean to make the tides. That's how waterbenders can heal, by changing the flow of energy with waterbending. That pull you're feeling is the pull of the moon,” Katara clarified. It was exactly the same as what had brought her out tonight.

“I suppose that makes sense. Uncle told me he learned this technique from waterbenders,” Zuko said staring at his hand, seemingly weighing this new revelation about his bodies energy and it's relationship to the moon.

Katara was pondering a revelation of her own. It was strange for her to think a firebender could share a relationship with the moon so very similar to her own. If firebenders could manipulate the flow of energy did that mean they could develop a healing technique of their own? What if the two cultures came together, if the disparate schools of thought could be reconciled. Fire and Water made one?

A sudden image came into her head. A child between a waterbender and a firebender. Her child with Zuko? She flushed bright red at the very specter of the thought. Suddenly his betrayal of her trust came rushing back to her, and it hurt too much to think about.

Never, she told herself pushing past it all.

“What's a firebender doing practicing a waterbending technique?” she asked, her mood soured.

“It's to redirect lightning,” he explained.

“Would have been useful for Aang when you let your sister shoot him in the back,” she snapped.

Zuko turned to face her at the harsh words. There was a pained expression on his face that was reflected in his voice when he said, “Katara I'm sorry. I should never have-”

She didn't let him finish that sentence. She struck at him with a whip of water from her bota. The blow struck so hard it sent him sprawling onto his back, dangerously close to the sheer drop of the courtyards edge.

“You should never have!” she threw back at him. “But you did! You betrayed us. You betrayed me! I wanted to help you and you turned your back on me!” There were tears in her eyes now.

Zuko didn't say another word. He just pulled himself into a dogeza, his forehead on the ground.

She didn't know or care that the dogeza was the most extreme way someone could prostrate themselves in the Fire Nation. She would hardly care the next morning when the rest of the Gaang found him there still in dogeza.

Right now she was hurting and beneath that hurt was something else. Something she didn't want to face.

Impossible, she thought to herself. It's the full moon, that has to be why.

Her heart beat just a bit faster and her blood flowed stronger.


	5. Hesitancy

“No lightning today? What's the matter? Afraid I'll redirect it?” Zuko yelled. It was fool hardy. Azula was slipping and Zuko was holding his own. More than holding his own. But this was a gamble.

“Oh, I'll show you lightning!” Azula shouted back.

Azula could lightning bend. Zuko couldn't. But Azula had no defense against lightning. Zuko did. If he could redirect a blast of lightning back at her, get in one clean hit, it could end the Agni Kai in one move.

Electric sparks and bolts began to fly around Azula as she pulled on the energy she needed lightning bend.

Zuko waited, bracing for the head long blast.

Azula changed her target at the last second with a sly smirk. Azula did not care about the rules of the Agni Kai. She only cared about getting her way.

Zuko realized what was happening at the last possible moment.

“NO!” he shouted as the bolt arced, not towards him but towards Katara.

Time seemed to slow around him. He leaped to intercept the blast. It caught him with both feet off the ground. He was ungrounded. It was bad form. He tried to follow the motions Uncle had taught him, to direct the lightning with the flow of energy through his body. A huge bolt of lightning shot away from him into the air. It was the second time he had redirected lightning. The second time his family had shot lightning at him. The first time he had managed to get away unharmed. This time was different. 

Had some of the lightning pass through his heart? Or had all of it? 

He didn't know.

All he knew was that the lightning hadn't struck Katara. That was good. And that his chest was all searing pain. That was not good.

His mind went back to his first Agni Kai. The pain of fire licking the flesh of his face, changing the skin into a ruin wet in places, dry in others, and agony all over. His chest now was just the same, but this time the burnt smell was accompanied by a metallic one and the pain was accompanied by a tingling numbness across his body. He only half felt the involuntary spasms that wracked his body.

He was glad he'd taken the blast instead of Katara.

“Zuko!” Katara's voice called out to him. It sounded strangely distant but he knew it was her. He'd recognize her voice anywhere.

The world seemed dark around him. Was it the red sky of Sozin's Comet that made it seem that way?

He thought he heard distant thunder.

Azula! He remembered.

He tried to move. Tried to roll over and push himself up. His numbed muscles refused to cooperate. He tried to follow the the blue glow of Azula's flames but his vision was blurred.

He couldn't let Azula hurt Katara. If this was the day he died so be it, but not Katara.

The world seemed to shake beneath him, keeping him down. He felt useless. It kept growing darker, but night couldn't be falling already could it?

Then there were arms around him, soft and gentle. They turned him over. Laid him on his back. Then the gentle touch was on his chest, cold and wet. His chest screamed at the pain, he clenched his teeth against a gasp.

Then the pain began to ease away.

He opened his eyes. His vision was clear again. He saw Katara above him, tears in her clear blue eyes and streaming down her cheeks. She was mercifully whole and unharmed. 

She had saved him.

“Thank you Katara,” he managed to say, though every word was a knife in his chest.

“I think I'm the one who should be thanking you,” she said before pulling him to his feet.

There was something else he wanted to say in that moment. Just three words. Short words, but important and difficult to say even without the burn in his lungs. He hesitated, just for a second.

It was in that second he heard the gasping sobs began. Sobs of rage and humiliation punctuated by the whoosh of flames. The drew his attention away.

He saw Azula chained to the aquifer that circled the arena, tantruming like a spoiled child denied a new toy. All his relief melted away. In its place was a deep discomfort seeing his broken sister wailing in such an undignified manner, and a strong sympathy for her pain, and the knowledge that it had to be this way.

Though he didn't see it Katara looked to him, her face full of concern and understanding.

The moment had passed, the time to say those three words were behind him.

Perhaps there will be another time, he hoped.


	6. Affirm

Katara was still dressed in the blacks they had donned for the confrontation, her thick hair pulled back into a loose ponytail.

They had mounted Appa and left Yon Rha behind hours ago. The rain had passed but the sky was still thick with dark clouds.

Katara was still at the reigns, Zuko was seated cross legged in the saddle.

“Katara,” Zuko began hesitantly. She ignored him.

“It's over now Katara. You should sleep,” he tried again.

She turned to glare at him. There were dark bags under her eyes. She hadn't slept at all the last few days.

There was something very familiar to Zuko about Katara's appearance. It was the look of one chasing after a single minded pursuit so long and hard that you neglected everything else. Setting aside eating, sleeping, setting aside your very self. He had seen it in the mirror many times. Zuko had lived in that place for years as he hunted the Avatar. He didn't like seeing Katara there. But he knew it couldn't always be avoided. Sometimes you were pulled there, pursuing things that had touched you at your core. Zuko had found his way there chasing his father's love, Katara had been chasing her mother's killer. When you couldn't avoid the path you had to hope for a good guide. Zuko was lucky enough to have his Uncle Iroh. All Katara had was Zuko. He knew he wasn't good enough, but he was the only one there. He had to do what he could.

What would Uncle say, he wondered. Something wise probably, but Zuko had very little wisdom to share. Suddenly he remembered a night on Ember Island. I'm angry at myself!

“If you won't sleep, will you talk?” he asked.

“Why?” Katara said flatly.

“Sometimes you need to let things out. Talk it through. Say things aloud so you can understand them, face it, get past it,” Zuko said, fumbling over his explanation.

“I already faced Yon Rha back there.” Katara snapped. A whole sentence, it was a start. Zuko could tell she was still upset about something. Zuko felt a tight pain in his chest seeing her like this. How could Uncle stand it for so long?

“Do you regret your choice?” Zuko asked.

Katara hesitated for a moment. “No,” she finally answered. “He wasn't worth having a death on my conscience.”

“Is that why you're upset? Because in the end he wasn't worth it?” Zuko felt awkward probing like this, but he wanted to help her. He hoped this was the right way for her.

Her back was still turned to him but he saw her raise her hand to her face, wiping tears from her cheeks. When she spoke again she heard the tears in her voice.

“He was nothing!” she yelled, but Zuko didn't think she was yelling at him. “Years wondering about the man who had stolen my mother from me, wondering about the monster who had caused me so much pain! Then in the end he was so much less than that. Just a hollow shell of a person. And I chased him like he was the only thing that mattered! I was going to steal Appa! I threw myself onto a Fire Nation ship like an idiot, I risked my life chasing him!” She paused for a moment and Zuko saw a shadow pass over her. When she continued it was in a hushed voice, just above a whisper, “I used bloodbending on someone.”

Zuko remembered that moment on the Southern Raiders ship. That horrible moment as someones body was twisted against their will from the inside. He had never known a waterbender could do something like that. Now he saw that doing it was a line in the sand and Katara had crossed it. That had rattled her.

“I almost lost myself chasing him,” she continued, “and what was it for?”

She said it so quietly she could only have been asking herself, but Zuko chanced to answer anyway.

“Now you know who took your mother. Now you know why. To make a choice you have to know what it is you're choosing,” he said.

“That doesn't make it worth it. That doesn't excuse what I've done,” she retorted.

“What you've done? You chased your mother killer for three days, I chased the Avatar for three years. Imagine what I've done. How I feel now,” Zuko said his voice growing thick with emotion at the admission, “But our mistakes don't have to define us. We live our lives, make our mistakes, take what we learn along the way, and try to find a better way forward. Sometimes that's all we can do.”

Katara turned to Zuko with tears still on her cheeks, looked at him as if she was seeing him for the first time again. He met her gaze, looking deep into her blue eyes still glistening with tears.

She bit her lower lip and broke off, looking away.

“Katara, you were face to face with the man who took your mother away, and despite your pain and anger you still did the right thing,” he said.

“I didn't forgive him,” she said, her tone was softer now. 

“I never said you had to,” Zuko said. “Moving on doesn't always mean forgiving, and not everyone deserves forgiveness. Not everyone atones for their mistakes. But you found the answers you needed, and you did it without getting blood on your hands. You chose to not get blood on your hands. I've always agonized over who I am, who I should be. I've gotten it wrong so many times, but even under all that pressure you stayed true to yourself. I envy that.”

Katara sat in silence for a while after that.

“Take the reigns Zuko,” she said when she finally spoke up again, “I'm tired.”

He climbed out over the edge of the saddle onto the long soft fur of Appa's neck. He reached around Katara taking the long dark hempen rope that connected the Sky Bison's horns and helped to direct him. When he did Katara leaned into his chest, surprising him.   
He looked down at her and saw a faint pink blush beneath the bags under her eyes.

“Sorry,” she apologized halfheartedly. “I think I'm at the end of my strength.”

“It's ok,” Zuko said, feeling a blush rising to his own cheeks.

“So where do we go from here?” she asked pressed warmly against him. Her voice was thick with exhaustion.

Zuko mulled the question over.

Keep an open mind. Give it a chance. And it can help you understand yourselves and each other.

Zuko remembered the words. Perhaps that was what Katara needed right now? He figured it was as good a place as any other.

“I know somewhere we can go, not too far from here. It'll be safe. It even has beds, though they'll be old and dusty. You can get some sleep while I go and grab everyone else,” he said.

“Heh,” Katara let out a tired half chuckle. She hadn't been asking about their next destination, but before she could even consider reiterating she was sinking into a deep sleep tucked tightly between his arms.


	7. Rebirth

He stood at the edge of Lake Laogai watching the Blue Spirit sinking into the darkness beneath the surface. The mask's black eyes stared up at him, deep pits filled with Zuko's obsession and anger. The tusked smile became a snarl, it roared at him. The mask stopped sinking, then it began to rise. It raced upwards towards Zuko, then the waters of the lake began to race towards him as well. The waters slammed into him, threatening to drown him, soaking him to his core.

He opened his eyes. Above him was the wooden ceiling of his room above Uncle's tea shop in Ba Sing Se. Had it been a dream? But he was soaking wet. Sweat he realized. His head was pounding. The world swam in and out of focus before his eyes. His muscles ached.

He was still in the clutches of the fever. His throat was on fire. He needed water.

He looked over and saw Uncle seated on the floor beside him, asleep. The room was dark, the sun had set outside. Beside him was wooden container Zuko knew would be filled with water. He tried to push himself up to get a drink. He fell back onto his futon instead. He didn't have the strength to move. He tried to call out to Uncle but his throat was so sore he only managed a choked rasp.

He lay back and tried to ignore his discomfort by focusing on his breathing.

There was ice in every direction he looked, but the air was humid and there was grass beneath his feet. It was the Oasis at the North Pole. He turned in circles, searching for the Avatar. He spotted him quickly, seated beneath a wooden arch above a still pond. If he took a few short steps he could have him. He hesitated.

When he finally tried to take a step his feet didn't move, they were rooted to the ground. He looked down and saw them frozen over with ice. He looked back at the Avatar.

She was standing there now. The Water Tribe peasant. If he wanted the Avatar he would need to fight her. Did he want that? Dimly he recalled her offering help, offering to save Uncle. Why hadn't he accepted her help then? Did he really want to fight her now? So he could claim the Avatar? Or would he let him go? Could he make peace with her and give up on the thing he'd been chasing for years and find something new? Something better?

The blizzard arrived, a cacophony of cold sharp wind. She disappeared into the wall of white that surrounded him. He was lost in the storm. The ice closed in around him, suffocated him. 

Help me, he wanted to call out.

Was this it? Was this were he died?

A hand pushed through the ice and snow, reaching for him. He took it.

The storm calmed.

He was pulled free of his icy doom. It was her again. The Water Tribe girl, Katara. Was that her name? He had never stopped to ask before. But the Avatar had called her that, he was certain of it.

She was close now. He took in her features. He had chased her across the world and somehow it seemed he had never taken the time to properly look at her. Her smooth dark skin, piercing blue eyes, thick chestnut hair tamed by a deftly woven braid. Had she always been beautiful?

He felt warmth spreading down his arm where she was holding him, through his chest, and rising to his cheeks as a blush. She was his salvation.

He opened his eyes. Iroh was pulling his soft blanket back over his clammy skin; he had kicked it off in his sleep he guessed.

“Water,” Zuko managed to say through the daggers in his throat.

Iroh kindly filled a ladle of water from the wooden bucket and slowly spooned it into his mouth. After three drinks his discomfort was lessened. Water was his salvation.

He drifted back into his uneasy sleep.

His fever had not yet passed. There would be more dreams, dreams of dragons and fire that would swallow up the dreams of water. Come morning he would remember very little of any of them, but they would all play their part.

He would wake up reborn, changed by his fever and the choices that had brought it on.


End file.
